
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/7157165.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Relationship:
      Castiel/Dean_Winchester
  Character:
      Dean_Winchester, Sam_Winchester, Castiel, Gabriel_(Supernatural), Amanda,
      Michael_(Supernatural), Crowley, Meg_Masters
  Additional Tags:
      Sex, Drugs, Violence, Death, Sexual_Content, Smut, abuse_of_Alcohol,
      Suicidal_Thoughts, Destiel_-_Freeform, trash, I_don't_fucking_know_what
      other_tags_relate_to_fanfic, Fucked_Up, i_guess, enjoy, Suicide, Murder,
      homocide
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-06-10 Updated: 2016-07-19 Chapters: 6/26 Words: 13264
****** My cherry pie ******
by deanscherrypie1
Summary
     AU.
     Castiel Novak is a student at clear waters highschool currently in
     his third year. He is a suicidal, depressed, mess in this world, and
     no one could make things better...that is until he meets a certain
     someone. Castiel struggles to live and fight while being afraid his
     certain love interest will leave him, he does his best to care and be
     stable enough for his lover. His main motto: happiness is key, and
     his main goal is: survive, help, love. Will he make it? Will his
     lover leave him? Or will this forbidden love survive? Find out here
     and now.
Notes
     This is an original fanfiction, please do not take credit for this
     fanfiction, I've put a lot of time and effort into this, and most of
     the depression is based off of me and other people who have agreed
     for me to base them off of. So please I ask you to not take credit,
     steal, rewrite, or make anything(episode,movie,etc) of this without
     my permission. If you would like to use this for something ask me
     first at: deanspie14@gmail.com
***** Start something new *****
     Dean Winchester teaches literature and history. He decides it's time to
make a change, so instead of teaching the normal way he would show videos, a
few big quizzes here and there, things that would seem lame he would turn it
up. Although he doesn't do it, because he was afraid he would fail.
He readies his supplies, like paper, pencils, syllabuses in one hand and supply
list in the other. He opens the door as the bell rings and teenagers come
through to go to their classes from all different corners. "I'm ready." He said
to himself. There were a few students,three or four who would throw away the
supply list. This would confuse and anger Dean slightly but not enough to punch
a man. As soon as all the students came in he noticed a lot of the girls and
very few guys would look at him like he was poison they were willing to take
just for a taste. It amazed him, but it also weirded him out. The girls would
lick their lips or fix their make up, in this case he knew they would listen in
class Even though he doesn't know why they would listen, I'm not even hot, he
thought to himself. So he walked back to his desk to do roll call."Amanda?"
"Here." She said biting her pen. There is no reason for you to bite your pen,
Dean thought.
"Jabon?" 
"What!?" Jabon was a jock, he played football and was the quarterback or also
known as the leader.
"Here or not here?" Dean asked.
"Here." Jabon replied. The class went on and on. Dean finally landed on the
last name on the name list.
"Castiel?" Dean called out. No answer, then again. Still no answer, as he was
about to put absent he heard a thump at the door. Who could it be? Dean
thought. Dean stood up and went towards the door, and he opened it. There he
was bent over catching his breathe, Castiel. "Um come in."
"Thank y-you, Mr. Win-winchest-chester." Castiel said panting and panting.
Luckily for Castiel no one noticed him, so he was able to sit in the back seat
where an empty seat awaited. A small smile appeared on his face, he smiled at
Dean. Dean smiled back.
"Okay class in front of you are two sheets of paper..." And the class went on,
eventually lunch came along. When Dean came back from lunch he noticed Castiel
was still in class. "Castiel,right?" He asked, Castiel nodded not even looking
at him since he was reading. "Aright then, you should leave to lunch.'
" I already ate." Castiel said. EAT WHAT!? Dean thought.
"Well next time you want to eat in class ask and bring your lunch for proof
that you already ate." Dean said trying to be funny, but no laughter came out
of Castiel, he gave Dean a thumbs up instead while reading his book. Lunch was
a full 30 minutes, so what was left was 27 minutes. This will be awkward, but
it's only awkward if you make it awkward. Dean thought to himself sitting back
in his seat.
"Mr.win-winchester,have you read this book before?" Castiel asked.
"What book?"Dean asked not looking up from his phone.
" the lo-lovely b-bones."
"Ah that one, I've seen the movie and read the book, they are both equally
great and depressing, in my opinion." To Castiel he didn't care about that he
just wanted to know if he liked the book or not.
"D-did you uh li-like it?" Castiel asked. He stutters. His stutters are normal
to others, they think it's something about him speaking to others that make him
nervous. It's not, they were caused while he thinks while he speaks. Causing
him not to realize that he can possibly say something else and mix up words,
which is when he speaks he tries not to mix up words. 
*sort of spoilers*
"Yeah, it was nice. I like Suzie's sister she was caring and sweet. I don't
like the mom in either she made me want to punch something. What did you like?"
"Um I-I liked t-the part where Suzie created her own world in the in-between
with he-her fri-friend Holly." Castiel said, and they both laughed at how great
the movie and book was. 
"Yeah that was nice, I never cry at sad movies nor romance ones either but that
movie made me cry like a baby." Dean told Castiel, he never told this to anyone
he didn't want to seem like a pussy, which is what he called himself anytime he
cried so he would stop.
"Re-really?" Castiel wanted to make sure and Dean nodded. Castiel's smile grew
a little.
"Hey kid,  are you okay?" Dean asked, he shouldnt have asked because this made
Castiel feel like the conversation they had wasn't so good that it was just
used to ask a serious and unnecessary question.
"What?" He wanted to make sure he heard what Dean had asked correctly.
" it's just I've heard about you. You're a good kid, but I heard from your last
teachers that you didn't speak much and that you mostly read. Why? Make some
friends,talk to people, or I'll send you to the cafeteria to eat the food."Dean
told the last part as a joke but he said everything else is a calm harsh
 voice. This made Castiel seem like a target, like he was a lone gazelle and
Dean was the lion.
"Mr.wi-winchester,  Im not a social butterfly li-like others. I had friends I'm
the seventh eighth friends, but it all went d-do-downhill from th-there. It's
not always ea-easy for everyone to make friends, when it comes to m-me I can't
seem to ma-make friends and I-I probably never w-will so I guess you could say
that, my people skills are a little rusty." Cas stood up and walked towards the
door, he was the gazelle who was running away from the lion. Dean spoke out.
"Castiel listen I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that but I'm your teacher and
I'm concerned." Dean said he was the lion who laid down to trick the gazelle
into thinking he was safe.
"Leave it alone. " Castiel shot back, the gazelle was reaching safety. Castiel
was headed to the school library. The gazelle had reached safety.Dean walked
back to class.  
20 minutes if lunch left.
Dean had enough, he went straight to the library and took out his phone, and
dialed a number.
"Hello?"
When Dean reached the library he looked around for Castiel until he finally
spotted him."cas, I need to speak with you in class. Now." Dean said. Castiel
sighed, closed his book and put it back in its rightful place on the shelf. He
then realized he was called cas, he never  had a nickname, be like it.he was
okay with it. When they got back to class only 15 minutes of lunch was left.
Dean told Castiel that he was sorry, he shouldn't have said what he said, and
that he wants to make it up to him. "I want to make  it up to you cas, let's go
out you and me together."
"Mr.um win-Winchester. Are you ask-asking me out? Like on a date?" 
"Huh?what? No. No it's just two guys having out. Come on."  Dean didn't know
what he was talking about, he'd been out of the dating game for so long he
doesn't even realize that when he said that, it sound like he wanted a date."
"Umm....ok-okay then." Castiel agrees and went to get his syllabuses from his
other teachers.  Dean went to get the students back to class there was a
substitute already waiting, since he called the principal  about a "family
emergency". 
Fifteen minutes later cas was already waiting in Dean's car. He knew that was
his car because on his desk there was a picture of the impala. He was already
inside because Dean forgot to lock the doors. " alright!" Dean said running out
to his car and got in. "how did you get in?" 
"The do-door was unl-unlocked." Castiel replied, making Dean mad at himself.
Dean got out of school grounds and drove. "I li-like your car.", Castiel said
while Dean was singing along to stairway to heaven." It's very vintage. I g-
guess."
"Well, thank you cas?" There was awkward silence for about ten minutes. "What
do you want?"
"Burger King." Castiel said so fast not even a stutter was heard.
"Alright what do you want from it?" Castiel didn't know since he had never
gone, so he  shrugged and told Dean. "Can I have two quarter pounders and two
medium cokes. Thanks."
"Thank y-you Mr.win-Winchester." 
"Please call me Dean."
"Okay D-Dean." After Dean payed for the food they drove off to a park nearby to
eat. They stayed in the car and ate once they got there.
"How's my apology so far?"
"Could be be-better." They laughed and Castiel took his first bite from the
burger. 
"Cas, do you forgive me?" Dean took a bite,So did Castiel.
"Yes...I do fo-forgive you." Castiel saw Dean from the corner of his eye,
smile.
"Castiel shy do you stutter?" Dean hesitated to ask.
"I don't stutter. " Castiel never knew he stuttered, he was always to focused
on thinking what to say next.
"You stutter as if you don't know what to say. Is that why?" Dean didn't want
to ruin this apology but he was curious.
"Well, I do think of what to say next while I speak and not before or after.
Which could be why I stutter since I don't want to say anything stupid, or
hurtful.. Castiel explained. Dean was concerned about t-the story behind that.
" any other reason? " Dean wanted to know more. He wanted to get to know
Castiel more. He was curious, he was reeled in like a fish on bait.
"I can tell you anything right?" Castiel asked Dean, and in return Dean nodded
yes and tool a bite from his burger.
"When I was younger. My mom said she loved me, a lot, but she hit me a lot and
I thought that was her way of saying I love you. I never did anything wrong
until I told my friends what she did, and again I thought that was her way of
saying I love you. They called the cops and my mom was release after a few
months. " he took a bite and swallowed. " my mom came back and told me to
always think before I speak.  My dad was an alcoholic and he would hit her
sometimes almost kill her and she would take her anger out on me. Months later,
it came to that point where he did kill her.I called the cops, and my dad cut
me, deep on the right side of my body. " and another bite. " I live with my
grandma she treats me right. I love her dearly but I'm afraid if I say
something wrong I'll get hurt again. That's why I think while I speak." He took
his last bite from the burger.
Dean dropped his."cas, you didn't stutter then." A smile came up his face.
"I didn't?" Castiel asked, and when Dean said no. They squealed like fan
girls." Dean can I tell you something else?"Dean took a bite from his burger
and said yes." I tried to OD last year a few timesz then I tried to hang myself
and I ended up in the hospital every time. Yesterday I tried to OD on pills,
and then I thought why not give school a try? Things could turn out different?
So I didnt do it, and I'm here. I think I made the right choice."
Dean stared at Castiel for a few seconds and Castiel stared back, "Cas."their
eyes locked, blue on green. Dean leaned in and hugged Castiel tightly shedding
tears.
" why are you crying? Mr.win-Dean" Castiel didn't know Dean would cry.
"If you kill yourself, I'll kill you. Got it?" Castiel smiled at what Dean had
said and hugged back slowly since they were still in the car, and it was pretty
tight in there.
"I won't Dean."
"For me?" Dean asked. Still crying into Castiel's green and  gray stripped
shirt. Castiel then started crying and half his face was covered by Dean's
shoulder causing a small  puddle to form on Dean's jacket."cas. Promise." That
he did and he meant it.
"For you."  
***** Take me home *****
     It was mid day sunny and cloudy, it was just right for any day. Not too
hot not too cold, like goldilocks' porridge. It was a cool day, the air smelled
wonderfully. Birds chirping wind flowing. It was all so nice according to Dean.
He walked outside a little at the park trail so the food he ate could settle
correctly, he checked his watch and saw it was 12:10 already. He knew it was
wrong to call out of school on the first day, but he had to make it up to
Castiel his student, but he only had two hours left. He could do it any other
day but it felt right to do it today and not tomorrow, not the next day,or any
other day. He wanted to do it today and so he did, he ran back to the car, when
he reached it he saw Castiel trying to balance a pencil on his upper lip, "Cas,
what else would be good?"
"Wh-what?" Castiel asked dropping his pencil.
"You want to go to the movies? Store? Walmart? Anywhere else so I can make up
for what I did?"
"Mr. Win-"
"Dean." Dean interrupted. He didn't want to be an acquaintance who knew each
other from school or just a teacher. He wanted to be friends, he thought the
first name basis would be the first steps to becoming friends.
"Dean. I d-don't need you to make up for anything, you didn't h-have to do
anyth-thing in the first place."
"But I want to..." Dean looked at Castiel with soft green eyes, staring with
passion. He didn't notice at first but when Castiel stared back, he stared with
passion and life. This causing Dean to turn away, "Err,um so dollar store good?
Yes, okay let's go." Dean looked away blushing wondering why he did what he did
as the car turned on.
"Huh? Sure w-why not?" Castiel was confused at first but he then too started to
blush at the thought of Dean's green eyes staring at him, and his freckles
making him look so much younger than twenty five. He looked almost like a
teenager with stubble, his face so perfect according to Castiel. He wanted to
touch the edges of his jaw. So sharp, he thought.
They drove for at least thirty minutes, until they reached the closest thrift
store, there was a dollar store but it was really far away about five miles
away. It took at least ten minutes to find a good parking space. Once they were
out of the car, Dean motioned for Castiel to hurry. "Dean, are y-you sure th-
that you still want to d-do this?" He asked so many times, it stated to bother
Dean.
"Yes I'm sure hurry up!" Dean growled. To Castiel he found this pretty
attractive, but he wondered why. He knew he wasn't into dudes, so why would he
find this attractive when guys do this. Castiel never found this attractive
when women do this. When they entered everything was very bright, the lights,
the walls, the people. "Hey Cas, look at this!" Castiel didn't notice that Dean
had run off already, and that he was standing at the entrance for a while.
"Come on kid."
Castiel sighed. He looked at the place like he had never been to one, it all
fascinated him. It all looked so messy, yet so pretty in certain parts. So many
toys, clothes, even T.Vs. "so ma-many clothes." He looked around even more
following Dean.
"What?" Dean didn't know this, but Castiel really had never been to a thrift
store like goodwill, the Salvation Army, etc. not a Single a one? have you ever
been to one of these?"
"No." Castiel smiles grew as e went to jacket section. He saw a great jacket
that he liked, it was the color burgundy and it looked perfect. It was soft and
at a low price than the usual cost for a jacket this nice,
"It's all so nice." Dean rolled his eyes and mouthed the word wow. His eyes
eventually spotted a jacket he liked a whole bunch, it was the color of army
green, and had pockets on the inside, it looked great on him.
" Cas how's it look?" Castiel walked over to him. He looked up and down and
tilted his head and squinted, like a puppy with sad eyes. He tilted his head
the other way and motioned with his pointer finger to turn around, so Dean did
as told.
" I like it, Buy it." His response was not the best, Dean needed a second
opinion, and a third to be safe. Dean walked over to a lady and asked if it
looked nice, she said yes but gave some criticism on how he should wear more
deodorant. He then asked a man, who said it looked great, the man also asked if
there was another available. Of course there was another one available, Dean
turned back to walk towards Castiel.
"what about you, what are you going to buy?" He asked.
"Err...where is it?" He looked behind him and to his left. He then looked to
his right and saw it, a sky blue, lavender purple, and pearl white polka dotted
5'10" blanket. "This blanket for my grandmother." He showed it off like a proud
child who got an A on his first art project for kindergarten. This made Dean
smile and laugh.
"Alright let's go." They waited in line for twenty minutes exact. Dean checked
his watch, and it was 1:16 pm. He had about an hour left to make up for his
idioticness, which is what he would call his own personal stupidity. The
employee's phone rang and he had to pick it up, which lasted for about ten
minutes. Come on, Dean thought to himself.
"Alright sorry there had a problem with my wife, Linda. She's a cutie really,
if you get to know her but don't worry about me or anything. So uh what can I
do for you guys?" The employee asked, hoping that one of them would consult
him.
"We are bu-buying s-some things. Um h-how much is th-this blanket?" Castiel
asked.
"Uh le-let me ch-check for y-you sir. Weirdo." He mocked Castiel, then saying
weirdo under his breath. This angered Dean for some reason, almost close enough
for him to punch the man.
" ten dollars." Dean paid for the blanket and jacket equaling twenty one
dollars even. "Ha-have a ni-nice day!" Said the man, this upsetting Dean even
more.
"Hey, you alright Cas?" Dean looked at Castiel, hoping he didn't feel bad.
Castiel stared at the floor while walking out to the car and while they were in
the car, not a single word came out, Not a simple sigh. When ever the light
turned red, Dean would look at Castiel, at his sad eyes becoming sadder, his
small smile became a complete frown. This upset Dean a whole lot. " you want to
go home? What's your address?"
"P-please. 549 swansea ro-road." Castiel tried to say, without stuttering,
failing. Tears started to flood his eyes, rising every second. Dean put in the
address onto his phone and looked up, he saw Castiel starting to cry trying to
hide the fact he was crying. His eyes became red and puffy. Dean parked his car
on abandoned train tracks that was only one hour away from Castiel's house.
"Cas!" Dean jumped out of the car and went to the other side, he opened the
door and hugged him, rocking him back and forth and petting his hair while he
sobbed into dean's shirt. "Shh... It's okay, you're okay. I'm here for you,
don't cry." Dean kept repeating his actions to calm Castiel down. The only
thing that changed was his words from "its okay, you'll be better once you are
home." To " I'm here, let it out. I'm here."
"Take me h-home Dean." Castiel's words sounded like heavy pants and gasps. When
dean began to get up, Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's upper torso, he
liked his warmth next to him, on him. He didn't want the warmth to go back yet,
he wanted to be around Dean Winchester's arms, like a baby bundled up in a
their blankets, it was cozy and warm. "Not yet."
"Not yet." Dean planted his chin above Castiel's head. Dean also liked this, he
felt protective over him, he felt something for Castiel, he didn't understand
why or how, but he didn't care. He hasn't felt this certain way for the longest
time and he wants this moment to last, well at least the hugging. He didn't
want Castiel to be sad, it bothered him. Even though they have just met each
other that morning for the first time, it felt like years to them.
"Take me home please,Dean." Castiel looked up at Dean, his eyes puffy, and red.
Dean looked down at him, and planted his forehead with Castiel's, both of their
noses touching.
 
***** Confession and confusion *****
Chapter Notes
     Chapters four is coming out soon, in a few days or so. Chapter five
     will come out a day or two after chapter four.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
     Scared, tired, depressed, paranoid, so much more. Castiel had Felt all of
these thing.
  He couldn't stop it no matter how hard he wanted to or how hard he tired, he
just couldn't bring himself to do so. What the man did, triggered something. He
was afraid that his "problem" would make him seem less approachable than he
already is. During his car ride home with Dean, he looked outside the car
window, seeing all sorts of beauty and life. Castiel always wanted to fly, to
live out there free and not have a care in the world of what anyone thought of
him. He would love to be a bird, a hawk maybe, or just a small one like a
mockingbird. This is reality, it isn't possible. It can never be possible,
Castiel thought. "Castiel. Knowing you are my student and all, it's wrong for
us to talk over the phone about non-school related stuff, I want us to talk
about what's going on with you as soon as I get home. Got it? Here's my number
1-866-907-3235."
"Okay th-thanks." He pulled out his flip phone and flipped it open, it was a
tannish gray color, merely a fossil, It belonged to his grandmother but sh gave
it to him because she knew he would need it. Luckily he had money to buy her a
nicer phone, a flip phone but a newer version. He presses buttons, making a
beep sound, hinting that he was adding Dean's number in it.

He called to make sure it worked, surely it did. As he looked out of the car
window, his forehead was pressed against the clear glass. Only half way until
he was home.
"Cas, you in the mood to speak?" Dean looked over to Castiel for a few seconds
then facing the road. Castiel shrugged slightly, he didn't want to do anything
but be home and see his grandmother, making the usual tomato soup with half a
piece of garlic bread, "okay then. Just know that I'm here." Dean's uneasiness
began to vex him.
"Can w-we you kn-know not speak, for n-now?" Castiel whispered, his voice was
soft, but hard to hear. "Please?" He whimpered.
"Okay. Well Instead of speaking over the phone once you get home, call me
before you go to bed. You are going to tell me what's going on with you,
alright? That way you can go to bed fine, alright?" Dean looked over to Castiel
to confirm if Castiel understood. Dean raised his voice, "Alright?"
"Yes DEAN." Castiel looked over at Dean ad stared at his sharper edged jaw,
clenching. His jaw so sharp you could almost cut yourself. Castiel realized he
was staring and looked away flushing. "I'm sorry I ra-raised my voice." Dean
sighed.
there was a pause.
"It's okay Cas, I'm sorry I raised my voice. You know what Cas, why not try to
not think about what you are going to say, while speaking. Try to think after
or before but not while, try it see if it works. "
"Okay." Castiel said, trying to sound understanding, Dean hadn't known this,
but it was hard for him to stop stuttering, his childhood traumatized him so
harshly he couldn't stop himself from feeling like a disappointment in his
dad's eyes. He should have told dean that it would be difficult to try but he
didn't want to worry Dean any longer so he kept quiet.
"You have reached your destination." The gps said.
"Bye Cas, call me before you go to bed got it?!" Dean had to make sure Castiel
would do so. He hugged Castiel before he exited the car.
"Goodbye Dean." His eyes tired and sad, he waved good bye as Dean drove off and
left. They were happy they spent time with each other, the day was perfect.
Everything went great. He walked up to his small house sheared with two other
people a mother who was 19 and had a child of her own who was four. The child
had brown eyes and black hair, he looked scared at all times, alert. The small
environment he was living in wasn't a place for a child. Castiel worked at
public making tips and small amounts of money. By the need of the month he
would have a thousand dollars, eventually having around eight hundred after the
taxes. By the end of the year he would have at least eleven thousand dollars,
including tips. It wasn't much and it wasn't much to live on but he and his
grandmother were lucky enough to find a roommate. Together they made around
three-thousand dollars by the end of the month.it was a good thing, a good idea
to get a roommate. Not much noise, not many people around. There were only
twelve houses and a few stores put together but it was small, not big enough to
be called a town. Castiel thought to himself, the child doesn't deserve to live
here, he deserve to live in a better home, go to a better school, grow up to be
someone. Castiel saved money each time he could for the child and for his
grandmother, he bought medication, food, clothes, detergent, the important
stuff while the nineteen year old mother payed the bills and both of them would
pay taxes during February.

They had a good system going on. His grandmother then walks in.
"CasCas! Oh you are home! "
She had wrinkles on her eyes and smile, gray hair and white hairs on her scalp.
Her lips chapped, a fossil she was. Puny, yet her eyes filled with life and
light. Her soul was innocent, and kind. It was pure. She was light, while
Castiel was filled with darkness, his heart had holes he needed to fill them,
or things could get bad for everyone including himself. When his grandmother
was around he focused on her well being, her happiness. He loved his
grandmother, she raised him right, like a mother should. With love, and care.
She was like a mother to Cas, a mother he never had. I'm "my dear boy, I made
chicken and pasta. I burned myself a little, but it's worth it, for you my
dear." Her voice shaky and small, Castiel nearly fell and cried in her arms, he
was helpless but she was even more helpless. She was in her eighties and she
could barely walk, feed, bathe herself. She needed Castiel more than he needed
her, although most people would leave their grandparents in an old folks home,
Castiel thought differently. He stayed with her at all times, he never talked
to people and never made friends much because he had to take care of his
grandmother at all times, this was one of the reasons besides his stutter.
He didn't care, as long as she was okay and happy he was okay and happy.
"Grandmama, thank you. Here let me get you some ice." He put the ice in a zip
lock bag and put that one in another. He then wrapped it with a triple layer of
bounty towel to make sure it wasn't freezing for her. He planted the ice in the
burn that was on her left lower arm. They all sat down, and ate enjoying her
food even if it wasn't that good. To them it was the best thing they have ever
tasted, better than anything they have ever tried, they wanted more but they
saved some for his grandmother. He stood up and served her a reasonable amount
of pasta and soft soft chicken, the serving was warm and not hot or cold. "Here
you go, here comes the airplane." Castiel fed her, and entertained his
grandmother in any way possible. She laughed at the smallest things, but it
didn't matter because her smile lighted up the whole room. "Grandmama, I bought
you something, well my friend got it for me for you since I didn't have any
money with me. Hold on."Before eating, Castiel set the blanket to wash and dry.
When he took the blanket out, it was warm and smelled like lavender. "Alrighty
here you go." The nineteen year old mother helped Castiel's grandmother up and
onto the sofa. Castiel then came hurrying planted the blanket slowly over her,
warning her up in the cold tundra of a home. The house barely had any
installation, so it was always cold.
"I love it CasCas it's beautiful." Castiel bent down and kissed her on the
forehead.
"Sleep well okay, I'll be in the kitchen cleaning up for you." He then called
the nineteen year old teenager over to him, "na-Nancy um don't you ha-have work
in twenty minutes?"
"Oh my gosh yes I do!" She ran quickly out of the door and left dropping her
son off with the next door neighbor knowing that Castiel had his hands full to
take care of a child. He wasn't ready either.
Twenty minutes after cleaning everything out he walked over to his grandma and
smiled.
"Grandmama? Grandmama?" He starts getting worried. She always wakes up on the
second calling. "Grandmama?!" He shook her softly and slowly. He took his index
finger and slid it under her nose, no breathe, then he felt her heartbeat.
Nothing.
He dialed 911 not knowing the hospital number.
"Hello what's your emergency?"
"I don't know if my grandmother is dead, she isn't breathing, there is no pulse
maybe it's just slow. Help please. Gosh, PLEASE!!!" He spoke too fast to
understand.
"Sir, you are going to have to speak slo-"
"Grr!!! 549 SWANSEA ROAD BRING AN AMBULANCE!!" he hung up. "Please stay with
me, grandmama. Please." Castiel flipped open to call Dean but he didn't want to
worry Him So he didn't. He wouldn't,
He couldn't.
The ambulance came as fast as they could. They took Castiel's grandmother to
the hospital as well as Castiel to accompany her, to make sure she's alright.
When they arrived at the hospital, Castiel hated to see the sight of her being
hooked to all sorts of machines and wires. He was filled with fear, and
sadness, why now? He though. Why ever? He was scared for his life, for her
life. The doctor came in an hour later coming in with news. "Good news kid,
your grandmother is not dying right now, she'll be alright as far as we know.
Alright well I'll check up on her in another two hours."The first day her eyes
were shut, the second day also.
The third day was different than the others, the nurses removed a few wires, is
she waking up?He thought. Soon after the doctor came and spoke to him. "Castiel
is it?" The doctor asked and castiel nodded worried, "well it's getting late
and you have school tomorrow most likely so I'm asking you to leave. But, come
back tomorrow, our final results will come in."
"Okay." Castiel walked away, looking back slightly, tears filling his eyes. He
wished his grandmother would wake up today and not Friday. He wished his
grandmother hadn't fallen asleep. He thought this was his own failing, even
though he didn't do anything wrong, he blamed himself. He called up a taxi and
it took him home, two hours away. He had fallen asleep.
"Heya kiddo, get up. This is your stop right?"
"Huh, yeah yeah. Thanks here is um your uh money keep the change."
"Alrighty kiddo, have a good night, thanks!" The taxi man waved good bye,
smirking. Castiel gave the man sixty dollars, when the taxi ride only costed
thirty two dollars and seventy five cents.
Castiel entered the house, and Nancy was standing there. "Hey there cassy. Umm,
this may be a bad time, and I shouldn't bring this up but I couldn't just leave
without saying goodbye with what is happening."
"W-what wi-with grandmama?" His voice low, and cracked. He hadn't had anything
to drink the past three days, he hadn't eaten either.
"She is your grandmother cassy. Yes I've heard from the doctor. I'm on her
emergency contacts, as are you."
"Wh-where are you going?" Castiel whispered, voice like a cool harsh wind, he
wheezed.
"Out. For good. My boyfriend asked me to move in with him to London, and I am.
If ms. Novak does... Y'know, you can always stay with me." Nancy tried to be
comforting, but it didn't do much for castiel. He had already cried more than
enough, he couldn't do it again. This woman was practically family and she was
leaving so soon. "Cassy, I'm so sorry." She reached out for a hug, but he
didn't accept it. He shook his head and gritted his teeth.
"No. No, no no no no." He pointed at her, shaking. "Y-your not, sorry d-doesn't
cut it. "
"I'm sorry." She repeated.
"N-NO!" He yelled at the top of her lungs. He threw over flower pot filled with
water over the coffee table. He turned around and headed straight to his room,
"yo-you're not sorry, i-if you we-were you wouldn't be leaving this dump." Snot
rolling from his red nose. His eyes bloodshot red and puffy from all the
helpless crying he had done. His hair was a big brown mess, and his face sweaty
and red like a cherry, tear stains resting on cheeks.his stutter leaving which
was only temporary.
"Cassy..." Nancy said, in a low soft voice with her soft blue eyes becoming
sad. "... I have a son."
" good for you." He replied. The child then came out of the bathroom, he ran to
castiel and hugged him. Castiel wanted to push the child off but he couldn't,
his heart thought differently. He was angry and sad, and confused but a warm
hug melted it away temporarily until they left.
"Cassy! I'm leaving, it's sad, because I'm going to miss you. You draw with me
and play with me when my mommy couldn't do it, I'm glad you are in my life. Im
going to miss you, I'll hopefully visit. Tell grandmama I said goodbye and that
I loved her soup." They waved goodbye. Nancy was dragging along a blue shiny
leather suit case, two of them one small, the other medium sized. Her sun
carrying a book bag with a teddy bear with Angel like wings sticking out,
almost like it was about to fall. Castiel ran towards the kid, and stopped him.
"Your bear was ab-about to fall out." He stuffed it back in including a one
hundred dollar bill. He whispered into the child's ear, "this one hundred
dollar is for you and you only. Save it it will bring you great things." He
slipped another one into his jacket. They left. Castiel walked back inside the
house and into his room, where he left his flip phone to charge.
67%. 3:19 A.M
He checked his phone and saw twelve missed calls, he forgot he had school the
other days so he thought it was the teachers. He laid on his twin sized bed and
closed his eyes. A ring came.
He ignored it.
Then another.
Again he ignored it.
Then another. He tossed to his left mid ring and flipped open his phone. "
what?"
"Castiel, I told you to call me three days ago, you haven't. I called you two
days ago, and oh didn't answer. I called you yesterday, MULTIPLE times and you
didn't answer. I call you today and you didn't answer, why? You know wh-
actually no I'm coming over."
"N-no Mr.win-Winchester I don't need y-you to come over."Castiel's voice went
in a hurry.
"Why?"
"There is no re-reason for you to, besides eve-everything is fine I just didn't
ch-charge my phone." Which was partially true, Castiel's phone died two days
ago.
"Then, tell me why your voice is dry?"
"Err, um it's j-just the um re-receiver." Dean hung up, "Mr. Winchester?" The
old bell rang, It was already two A.M in the morning who could it be? "What!?"
He yelled, the bell rang it's old messed up ring. "Darn bell." He stood up from
his bed and walked over to the door, when he opened it he was surprised.
"Nancy?"
"I forgot my wallet. Im sorry again." She rushed back from her old room and
hugged castiel, "I'm sorry, really." Her British accent got to him, a British
accent always fixes everything, he thought to himself. He smiled and hugged her
back.
"It's okay, Nancy." He said mimicking her British accent. They laughed as she
left. As Nancy left with her fiancé and her son asleep in the back seat another
car came around the corner. He recognized this car, it was black and old but in
good condition. Mr.winchester? He thought. Dean parked his car on the small
dirty driveway, he jumped out with his hair messy, he was wearing his pajamas.
Red plaid pajama pants with a long white shirt that covered his butt, the shirt
was so thin it showed Dean's muscles and abs. Castiel ran back into the house
and turned off all the lights and closed the from door. Why is my teacher here
ugh? He thought.
"Castiel?" He knocked, "Castiel? I know you are in there, I saw you run back
inside. It's starting to rain, and it's getting heavier. "
Castiel ran to the bathroom to get a towel but in his way there he tripped.
After getting back on his feet he went straight to the bathroom and speed
walked back. He opened the door and saw a figure standing over him. The figure
was fully soaked, his hair droopy and shiny. His shirt showing his abs
completely. "Are you going to let me in?"
"H-huh? Yeah co-come in." Castiel luckily had two towels just in case, Dean sat
down on the old couch where he placed a towel down and over him self. "W-what
are you doing he-here, Mr. Winchester?"
"You sounded sick, didn't I tell you to stop thinking while you're talking?"
"Yeah."
"Well stop." Dean said being his sassy self.
"Okay." Castiel turned around heading to his room, Dean followed. When he was
about to close his door, Dean stopped him. "What the? Go h-home Mr.Winchester."
"Dean. What's going on castiel?" Dean held castiel and sat him down on his
messy bed.
"No-nothing." Castiel lied.
"Castiel." No response, "CASTIEL."
Whenever Dean raised his voice Castiel felt the sudden urge to fall into his
arms and cry. He felt like he was cared about. His grandmother cared about him
but she could leave for good, Nancy left already, to London for good. The two
most important people in his life, the only people in his life actually, were
the only who cared about him, yet they were so far away.
He tried staying strong for Dean, but he failed. He fell on his knees and cried
a waterfall. "Dean, my grandmother is in the hospital possibly dying and Nancy
left me and my grandmother and soon it could possibly be just me, alone. I DONT
want to be alone," he shed and shed," I'm not ready." Dean quickly fell on his
knees and hugged Castiel.
"Cas, seriously don't cry. It's okay." Dean looked at his surroundings,
everything was old, the tv, the living room couch, the kitchen, the beds, even
the clothes. Everything even the small house. He realized that Castiel was
living a harsh life, it was difficult. He quickly noted what he should have
said instead of seriously don't cry. This made Castiel cry even more.eventually
Castiel stopped and just hugged Dean and Dean hugged back, resting his chin on
his soft brown hair, while Castiel's face snuggled into dean's chest. "It's
okay I'm here, I'll always be here." Castiel looked up at him, "Castiel, go to
bed okay. You have school tomorrow and class with me. I'll even sleep here with
you, just so you can sleep well."
"Please." This felt weird for Castiel, but he didn't care, he needed something,
someone to keep his mind off of things. Castiel flawless so weak he couldn't
get back up, so Dean lifted him and carried him bridal style. "Um..."
"It's okay." Dean carried Castiel all the way to the bed without a single
problem, he laid him on the bed and fell over him. They were eye to eye, nose
to nose. "Cas, I know you had a thing for me but are you sure?"
"W-what?!" Castiel flushed with embarrassment.
"Relax its a joke." Dean laughed, blushing.
"Oh."he secretly didn't want it to be a joke, he really did have a small thing
for Dean. He wasn't sure how or why, but he did. "Oh okay."
"You really do have a thing for me ,don't you." He studied Castiel closely, his
reaction. His mouth opened wide. "You do." Castiel was freaking out that Dean
had found out, he thought he would get rejected, why wouldn't he. He was weak,
stupid, and clumsy, plus Dean was his teacher.
"I-I... I-" he coy don't get words to come out, he was scared.
"It's okay, I have a small thing for oh too." Dean rubbed the back of his own
neck, he had come out to Castiel, this was his first time admitting he was
queer.
"You're gay?"
"No, I'm bi. I like both men and women. You're gay aren't you?" Dean asked,
Castiel nodded in return. They say in awkward silence, Castiel liked this. Not
only did this get his mind off the problems going on but Dean admitted to
liking Castiel.
Castiel stood up and said,"You c-can leave if y-you want. I can tell wh-when
someo-one doesn't want to be here."
"Look Cas, I feel awkward but that doesn't mean I don't want to be here. I want
to be here Cas, for you." Dean stood up and held Castiel's arms. Castiel looked
up at him, "I'll always be here for you."
Castiel's eyes watered, he was a soft cookie, when ever the cookie was dipped
in milk it was ready to fall apart whenever. "You mean it?" He whispered.
"I do." Dean replied in a whisper tone. He leaned in and kissed Castiel's
forehead. "Always." Castiel had a small crooked smile on his face, he felt
better. Dean hugged Castiel rather than just holding his arms. Castiel could
feel his muscles this time, he could feel dean's heart beat faster, causing his
to beat faster. Dean looked at Castiel and saw his sea blue eyes and couldn't
help but stare. Castiel noticed and stare back, they hadn't realized but they
had been leaning in. Dean had planted a kiss on Castiel's lips, then another.
Finally Castiel became man enough I kiss Dean back. They kissed passionately,
at first it was difficult knowing what to do. Castiel had never kissed anyone,
by Dean had. He never had difficulty because all his kisses were out of hunger
with no love to give, but this was different. This was Castiel, he did his best
to please Castiel, and Castiel did his best to please Dean. Dean felt like he
was failing but this didn't matter. Castiel was somewhat crying and Dean held
him in his face in his hands also crying.
"I'm sorry." Castiel said.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry... I was about to grab the gun..."
"What are you talking about? CAS. TELL ME."
"I was about to kill myself with the gun we have for safety. Im sorry, I should
have done it when I had the chance. I'm sorry." Castiel cried even more, he
couldn't handle the stress, he was depressed he felt alone.
"Cas?" Dean's voice was breaking at this point, he had never realized anyone
could be this mentally broken. "No."
"I'll be a bother, you don't want me, I'll just be a problem waiting just cause
more problems. You'll hate me, you'll leave me."
"No, I love you."what Dean said made Castiel feel awkward since it was too
early but it didn't matter, Castiel felt the same way towards Dean.
"No, you don't." Castiel didn't want to be around for anyone to hate, so many
have left because he did a small thing wrong, after all Nancy had already left,
what stops Dean from leaving.
"I do Cas. I will never leave you trust me. If anything it would be you leaving
me, your too perfect for me."
"Is this perfect. This is what you call perfect?" Castiel whined, rubbing his
red watery eyes.
"It's better than my perfect." Dean hugged Castiel and kissed his nose.
"M-Mr. Winchester?!" Castiel was confused, he had no idea what to think, why
did my teacher do that? What do I do back? Castiel thought. He was having
trouble on what to say next,"I-I don't kn-know what t-to say o-or think?!"
"Don't say or think anything. Just be calm." Dean said with a soft calming
voice. He leaned in and his eyes were half way closed, as for Castiel his were
tightly shut having never kissed anyone. He thought he would be a bad kisser so
he refused to kiss Dean, he didn't want to ruin the moment even though he sort
of did. "What's wrong?" Dean asked.
"I'm a terrible kisser...." Castiel questioned himself, am I a terrible kisser?
Am I a terrible person for refusing? "... You won't like the kiss."
"Well have you ever kissed anyone before?" Dean had a big smile on his face
brightening up his freckles and cashing wrinkles show up around his small eyes.
His teeth were so white, whiter than snow. Castiel shook his head no, feeling
ashamed of never kissing anyone before. He was a kissing virgin and a virgin in
general. He had never done anything "extreme" which is what he would call
kissing and having sex. "Cas, it's okay. You'll never know if you're a bad
kisser until you actually kiss."
"But y-you're my teacher..." He was afraid that if they went out, they could
get caught. He was afraid that Dean could get in trouble, fired or worse,
arrested and shown to the public about dating a student. This was wrong but he
didn't care he loved Dean Winchester, even if they had just met days ago, this
was something he had never felt before. Dean felt the same way, all the women
and men he had dated, never gave him this feeling. Like a gut punch, this was
real. Almost like a dream come true. "...but I don't care."Dean smiled so did
Castiel.They kissed, at first it was awkward but they melted into each other's
kisses and arms. Dean's lips so soft and warm. They were plump not swollen like
or invisible to see,and they were smooth to touch. He's had experience in
kissing, so he didn't give off to much or too little moisture off. Castiel's
lips were a little chapped, but it didn't matter because Dean didn't care. This
kiss made him feel something more than before, like this wasn't a fantasy this
was real. Like they were meant to be. They broke the kiss at the same time to
catch air, Castiel laid down on the bed and Dean laid down with him. They
closed their eyes, spooning against each other. Dean's hands around Castiel's
waist and Castiel's hands holding onto them, not wanting to let go. They
cuddled and fell asleep together on the twin sized bed, because there wasn't
much room their bodies touched more than a usual cuddle. They were an official
couple, they both fell asleep soon after.
Two hours later Castiel had woken up, it was Friday already he had forgotten
about Friday. He checked the clock and saw it was 5:45 and the bus comes around
6:34 so he had a little bit of time to get ready. He got up and dressed into a
light blue sweater and black jeans with black converse. He checked the mirror
and saw his hair was a mess. He didn't bother fixing it, but at the corner of
his eye he saw his bed. He turned around, his light smile faded as his frown
appeared. It was all just a dream? He fell on his bed and sighed with relief.
He was glad it was just a dream, Kissing his teacher! "Wow." Castiel spoke to
himself, "just a dream." He sighed again in relief and disappointment, he
really hoped for it to be real. After brushing his teeth, cleaning his face and
readying his book bag he left for school. He waited at the stop for a while, he
didn't notice he had gotten a text from Dean, the bus was loud. While in the
bus Castiel had opened his phone and read the message in his head : Morning.
Hope to see you in class, also hope to see you again,tonight maybe if it's
alright with you. "Was it a dream?"
Coming to class the day went busy fast. Castiel couldn't wait for literature
class, the man of his dreams was there. Castiel turned in all of his signed
papers to his teacher and luckily since it was only the first week of school he
hadn't missed much at all only the normal school dress code and class rules,
but he knew all of them anyways. In every class each teacher asked if there was
anything wrong with him, like was he sick or if he's doing okay at home since
he has dark circles under his eyes and he always had a blank face and every
time he would say everything's fine or he was sick. By the time Castiel had
class with Dean he would rush out of class so he could be first in. At first
Dean didn't pay much attention to Castiel, proving what happened last night was
just a dream but then in the middle of class when it was time for lunch Dean
would wink at Castiel causing much confusion and blushing. During lunch Castiel
didn't have anyone to talk to, but a group of people invited Castiel to lunch.
Four people really, Meg, Michael, Gabriel, and Amanda. They were all really
nice Gabriel and Michael treated Castiel like a brother and made him feel
welcomed. Castiel knew Meg had a crush on him since the moment Meg blushed
during his presence and when she spoke directly to him she would say sarcastic
comments and silly innuendos. Amanda was shy like Castiel but also really fun
when you get to know her. They were all laughing it out, not a care in the
world. This made Dean smile from a distance, school went on as the day past. At
the end o the day Castiel remembered he forgot his notebook in dean's class,
"stupid idiot." He said to himself.
He raced to the class room, on his way there he bumped into down one. "Oh
sorry."
"WATCH IT KID!" Mr.Crowley yelled, coffee spilled all over his suit, dripping
and soaking. His face had an angry expression.
"So-sorry Mr.Crowley."
"Don't do it again, you here. Now go home."
"I-I forgot my n-notebook."
"Well hurry it up already will ya, go get it then leave." Crowley told Castiel,
and Castiel ran back to class. Only to see the door was locked, and dark
inside. Dean had gone home.
"Cas, shouldn't you be at home?"
"Ye-yeah but Mr.Winchester locked the d-door and now I-I can't get my notebook.
It ha-had my homework in it." Castiel sighed and turned around and fell against
the door, he slid down in a sitting motion. Once his bum landed on the cold
hard ground he crouched over and rubbed his hair as anxiety took over him.
"Cas, the doors open." Dean had unlocked the door for him, Castiel looked up
and smiled crookedly.
"Thank you, Dean." Castiel ran inside to retrieve his notebook and found it
inside his desk covered in his doodles of noodles, he was very hungry after
eating nothing at lunch. "D-Dean?" Dean Winchester was gone, he left the class
to go home. A frown had appeared on Castiel's face. He then remembered what the
doctor said: "come in tomorrow and check up on your grandmother, we'll have the
final results." Castiel took out his phone and called a cab.
When the cab man finally came, Castiel was worried, scared and hopeful. "Where
to?"
"Judds hospital."
"Alright kiddo." Said the cab man. Why does everyone call me kid or kiddo? I'm
not a kid! Castiel thought to himself, he was sixteen years old and was a
teenager. Not a child. This annoyed him but it wasn't the time to make a fuss
about it. He didn't even notice they arrived, until the cab man kept saying,"
heya kid, this your stop or nah?"
"Huh." Castiel checked and nodded he payed the man what he earned, thirty six
dollars and ten cents. He remembered the last time a cab man drove him he had
over payed.
He ran inside the building and checked in, the elevator was packed, he decided
to use the stairs. His grandmother was in room 221B, as he arrived at the
hospital room he was panting and slightly sweating, the doctor was already in
the room.
"Mr. Novak you are here." Said the doctor, he was a little confused mom why
Castiel was so tired. "Wh-"
"I ran up th-the stairs."
"Oh. Well now that you are here, I'll go get the results." The doctor left the
room on a hurry, and got into the elevator. The elevator was a bit cramped and
smelly, since there were so many people it took a while for the doctor to come
back almost an hour.
"Grandmama, please be okay." Castiel whimpered, he tightened his grip on his
grandmother's wrinkly hand. His phone rang, Castiel turned it on to vibrate. It
rang again, he left it alone. Thirty minutes later it rang again, this time he
turned it on to silent, no buzzing or ringing would go off, just straight to
voicemail. Fourth minutes later the doctor came in with a nurse and two
clipboards. The nurse had a blank face, she had a person next to her, Meg. She
had volunteered to work at the hospital.the nurse didn't look happy, neither
did the doctor.
Chapter End Notes
     Comment below what you think about this fanfiction. Also comment what
     I should fix, add,or delete.
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***** Something wicked part one *****
.    The doctors came in and Meg saw Castiel, she waved at him shyly and
blushed. He rolled his eyes, "this wasn't the time Meg!" He wanted to say but
he couldn't bring himself to do so, so he just told sat there on the brown
rolling chair waiting for the results. "OKAY." Said the doctor, "well...as far
as I can see no."
"N-no what?"
"No your grandmother will um...back me up here nurse Hamph." The doctor gave
the nurse a look, the nurse turned around to Meg motioning for Meg to go
inside.
"Your grandmother won't make it." She stated so fast in a high pitched voice,
that you couldn't make out a single word she said. The doctor gave her another
look, the nurse spoke slower, "y-your grandmother wo-won't make it. If she w-
wakes up she'll die...after about an hour or so, maybe." She was staring at the
floor by the time she finished speaking. Castiel's face held no emotion, blank
and eyes filling up with darkness.
"Castiel, I'm sorry." Meg tried to sound like a nice person but that just
wasn't her. Instead she came out unappealing and rude. Almost sarcastic.
Castiel looked at her with eyes so far into a void, his soul's brightness was
nearly gone. His eyes widened.
"You little bitch." He gritted his teeth, Meg didn't know what she did, and
Castiel didn't know that she was just trying to be a nice comforting person. He
cupped his face with his hands, clammy. "You fucking bitch." His voice cracked.
"Castiel did I do something?" Meg asked slowly approaching him.
"Yeah you sarcastic bitch! Go fuck with someone else!" He yelled tears staining
his cheek, little spots of his shirt wet. "LEAVE." He pointed at the door.
Everyone but the doctor left, he patted Castiel's back telling him that it's
okay. Castiel's eyes suddenly brightened up he takes out his phone and dials a
number.
Dean's phone rings.
Nothing.
Again.
Nothing.
Then once again. "Yeah Dean here."
"Mr. W-Winchester can you come pick me up from the hospital?"
"Yeah. I'll be there." He hung up.
He wipes off a certain goo from his hands onto a white rag, he throws it away
deep into the trash can. He slams the door shut, grinning devilishly
Dean rushed out pulling his batman pajama pants on and a loose grey shirt on,
while he messes up his hair. He rushes to the hospital in his '67 Impala, he
calls up Castiel.
"Cas. I'm outside the hospital. Where are you?"
"In-Inside."
"I know but what room?"
"221B."
"Okay I'm getting out of my car now, see you there." Dean said obviously lying,
he was Ten minutes away. When he reached the hospital he got out as quickly as
possible and hurried into the elevator. When he arrived to the eighth floor he
ran to the room, "I'm here Cas, what's going on?" He saw the doctor, "Castiel.
What's so important for you to call me this late?" Dean asked. Castiel turned
around to face his grandmother and move slightly to the left, leaving Dean to
be shocked.
"Ah, Hello Dean!" Said the doctor. Dean faced the doctor eyeing him.
"Hi?" Dean turned to Castiel, "castiel, I am very sorry for sounding rude to a
student of mine, I'm am very glad that you have called me for an emergency."
Castiel understood what was going on, he didn't want to ruin their relationship
so he went along with it.
"Dean, how has it been? Teaching and all." The doctor tilted his head, Castiel
knew they had a past but didn't know what type.
"Can we focus on my student's family member?" Dean growled rolling his eyes.
The doctor smirked, still staring at Dean with envy his eyes. "Please?" Dean
said softly. The doctor turned around to Castiel and said with a deep serious
voice.
"Your grandmother will not make it, the second she awakes she will die, or at
least the three minutes. I'm sorry I sugar coated it last time but I didn't
want to hurt such a helpless child." He smiled kindly and leaned over to
Castiel's ear, "I'm very sorry for you being a student of Mr.Winchester. I
suggest you don't hang out with him, he has a history. Terrible one." He leaned
away and nodded with fear as he slowly backed out of the room trying to not
show any fear towards Dean.
An hour past, Dean was still with Castiel. Dean looked at him and smiled, this
Causing Castiel to blush.
"Why did you call me?"
"I-I don't have any mo-money left, and since you're my teacher/counselor I th-
thought it would be ap-appropriate to call you." They were officially a couple
now but they couldn't be seen in public together, after all their relationship
is what you would call illegal. "I th-thought that maybe you m-might help pay,
seeing as you're m-my um y-you know." Castiel blushed brightly.
"Oh." Dean suddenly felt guilty, sad, and disappointed in himself. He didn't
actually love Castiel, he just wanted to experiment with the same sex. He was
never with the same sex and was only ever with the opposite gender. "Cas, this
might be a bad time but I have to tell you something."
"What m-might that be?" Castiel asked, as soon as Dean opened his mouth to
speak, Castiel's grandmother awoke.
"Castiel?" She said weakly. Castiel turned around to his grandmother. She
spoke, "c-come here." He moved closer, Dean followed, "I've been ve-very I'll
and I have-" she inhaled then exhaled " never told you. I'm s-sorry CasCas. I'm
sorry."
Castiel became teary.
"Grandmama? It's okay." His throat clogging up with spit. "It's okay."
"I know I'm dying, Nancy came in earlier today and she gave me your
grandfather's coat..." There was a pause. "I want you to have it." She pointed
to the tan trench coat on the white table next to the window. "I love you
Castiel, know that." Castiel hugged his grandmother, who was slowly fading
away. Dean knew what he had done would make things worse if he told Castiel, he
knew that he could never tell him, it would break his heart. The monitor's
beeping slowed, soon enough the sound stopped, flat. No motion, no sounds,
nothing. Everything was still for a moment until the doctor came in.
"Castiel...it's time you go home." Castiel stood up and left the room carrying
the trench coat his grandfather owned before he died in the fire. Dean
followed, stopping he took out his wallet from his pocket and a pen from the
doctor's white coat pocket he wrote on a check. 512.89 dollars worth. "Thank
you." Said the doctor, Dean patted his back looking down on the floor walking
away. By the time Dean reached the elevator, Castiel was already down to the
last two floor. By the time Dean reached the first floor, Castiel was already
in a cab going home.
Dean signed out and ran to his car, it was raining. Dean dropped his keys as he
took out his phone and walked to his car. He quickly walked over to the small
road to look for them tired and worried.
Immediately Dean found his keys. He ran to the car and drove home. He drove so
fast like he was a famous racer in the 60s. He picked up his phone, only to see
ten missed called from the school. He pressed on one, "hello Mr. Winchester
this is the school board. I am here to inform you that school will not be
happening for a few days, this is because of a problems with a few things which
are classified. Good day." Dean didn't bother hearing the others. He wanted to
go home but there was so much guilt inside of him he wanted to go to Castiel's
house. On the way home he took a right instead of going straight and then a
left and drove to his house.When he arrived to Castiel's house, he rushed out
to the unlocked tiny home.
"Cas." Dean called for Castiel, in return there was no response, "cas?" He
repeated as he walked to Castiel's room. The door creaked open, "cas?"
"Huh? D-dean?"
"Cas!" He ran to Castiel and hugged him, causing Castiel to drop pills onto the
ground which rolled under the sink.
"No, d-dean no!" He sobbed, "why!!!"
"Cas, don't do this if you do so help I will KILL you okay! I-I don't want you
gone...please?" Dean cried out to Castiel hugging him tightly not letting him
escape his grip, "please cas, please?!" He whispered.
"D-dean...why are y-you here." Castiel was confused as to why dean even cared,
if he really does care. Dean didn't need him he can find all sorts of people!
Castiel thought.
"I wanted t-to see you, I'm glad I made it on time." He said still holding onto
Castiel tightly, "if I were to do this...would you be there to stop me?" He
sniffled, eyes red, tears flowing quickly and voices breaking.
"Yes, b-but this is different." Castiel had no tone in his words It was plain
and boring, emotionless.
"NO ITS N-NOT Castiel,it's not."
"D-dean why c-can't you just Lea-leave things al-alone?" Castiel whined, dean
hugged him tighter rubbing his face onto Castiel's neck. "De-dean?"
"Because you're needed," dean whispered into Castiel's ear and kissed his
cheek, Castiel blushed brightly, "I need you." Dean kissed his cheek again,
"you are the best damn thing that I've ever had!" His phrasing wasn't so good
and very confusing to Castiel.
"This isn't about me, my grandmother j-ust FUCKING DIED and you you are worried
about m-me leaving Y-you!" Castiel screamed at dean, angry and confused. "This
isn't A FUCKING GAME DEAN!"
"C-cas..." Dean was scared, he had only been with Castiel a few days and he
wanted to get to know him but he never had the time, "I'm...sorry." He
whispered looking down at the floor.
"G-go home." Castiel said walking to the door. "Just go."
"Cas I-"
"Just go Dean." Castiel cut him off, Dean left, he drove home which took a
while. He was worried about Castiel, he loved Castiel even if it was too early
to say so, as tile brought life to Dean. He let Dean feel again. A week has
gone by, Thursday finally came. Castiel woke up and got dressed for school, the
school website alerted students that it was the day to come back to school
after a classified incident with a few teachers and the principle. Castiel
arrived to class and the day went on as usual, Castiel was late. The home room
teachers handed out different student schedules this time, for Castiel it was:
home room, math,lunch, and literature. As for electives he had art and health.
The school made classes longer so the semester would only have two main classes
rather than four. When math started, he saw a few people he knew from
literature class.
"Cassy!" Amanda called, please don't call me that, Castiel thought.
"Hey cas!" Michael spoke, as did Gabriel and Meg. Meg smiled but then quickly
looked away.
"H-hey Meg." Castiel waved. By the time it was lunch they all say together as
usual, Gabriel would make his jokes, Michael would be the mature one, Meg would
be the sassy shy stuck up girl. As for Amanda, she was just a simple girl
trying to fit in, she was doing just fine but at her last school no excepted
her.
"Hello little monsters." Crowley walked by and forced a smile, "having a little
laugh now are we?" He carried a drink with a tiny pitch fork in it, "well,
don't have too much fun. Devil children." He walked away laughing.
"Hello, King of hell." Gabriel mumbled. " hey cas, walk with me. Lunch is
already over." Castiel nodded.
On there way to class they talked about what they wanted to be when they were
out of school. Neither of which knew what they desired to be. Class soon ended,
Gabriel and Castiel had all of the same classes except for art. They walked to
class together, Gabriel of course teasing Castiel with perverted jokes on who
he would bang if he could, of course Castiel would laugh even though he had no
understanding of why he would want to do so. They say together in the back of
the class, mostly because Castiel had no other friends, luckily Michael was
there. Gabriel was considered cool and the class clown in school, Castiel would
be the shy but laid back person even though deep inside he was broken and
messed up. Michael had no problems in his life, he was the rich white teenager
who's parents gave him everything he ever wanted. Although he liked being
treated that way, he hated being thought of the stupid, stuck up rich white kid
who thought he was better than everyone else. So he hung it with Castiel and
the others, he felt safe with them and treated Castiel like his youngest
brother. It worked, no one thought of him as the stuck up rich kid. They were
best pals. "Alright let's get this over with, WELCOME back class, as you can
see we will not be spending another week like this outside of school unless it
is a holiday. Take out your pencils and notebooks we will be taking notes on...
Uh let's see, hold on." Dean hurried back to his desk, looking through papers.
"AH HAH! Edgar Allen Poe!" Very few people giggled, but they were girls who
thought Dean was hilarious and sexy. "Funny aren't I?" He whispered to himself,
smiling.
"Dude, dude." Gabriel gave Michael a note, who then ripped it up without even
reading it. Gabriel wrote another note with the same words but with one word
differently, he then passed it to Castiel.
Gabriel: Meg likes you, lol.
Castiel: I always knew I just didn't think she actually did.
Castiel felt great about his writing, there was no stutter unless a character
was meant to.
Gabriel: seriously?! Lol okay den.
"Edgar Allen Poe, did you know that he was twenty seven when he married
Virginia Eliza Clemm Poe who was thirteen. She was his first cousin,
biographers say that they viewed each other as brother and sister, they also
disagree on their decision on marriage." He wrote on the board their fate of
birth and date of death, the causes of death, and even the poems Poe wrote.
"Poe eventually turned to alcoholism order to cope with the death of his wife,
there are theories that her death is what changed his way of writing poetry.
Which would lead us to one of his most famous pieces, tell-tale heart. Now you
may ask, was t his most famous the Raven? Well yes, it was but I would like us
to read the tell-tale heart." Ten teenagers put their hands down. "Many of his
stories were not accepted in his time, as they were considered 'too scary'
since they were gothic and involved insanity murder and revenge."
Gabriel kept laughing at his small little jokes he made in his head and told
them to Castiel, Castiel would laugh along. "Gabriel would you mind reciting a
stanza from his poem?" Gabriel was surprised he was called on, most teachers
had enough with his actions every year that they gave up on him. Not this one.
The students were given three of Poe's most famous peons.
"Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;- vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow- sorrow for the lost Lenore-
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore-
                Nameless here for evermore. " Gabriel looked up hoping he was
correct, to his surprise he was not.
"Sit down Gabe. Castiel, would you mind reciting a stanza?" Dean looked upset
with Castiel, sure they were dating but that didn't mean Castiel could act out
and not get in deep trouble. Dean raised an eyebrow as he tapped his foot
against the table he was sitting next to.
"Uh...o-okay." Castiel cleared his throat, he took a deep breath in and
exhaled, " If still y-you think me mad, you will think so no longer when I
describe the wise precautions I took for the concealment of the body. The night
waned, and I-I worked hastily, but in silence. First of all I dismembered the
corpse. I cut off the head and the arms and the legs..." He stopped. "What the-
"
"Thank you Castiel, you may sit down now." Castiel was deeply concerned about
Poe's writing, it was scary and very concerning. Class soon ended, art and
health hadn't mattered. There was nothing remotely interesting or important.
"Hey!" Gabriel walked to Castiel, "hey where are you going?"
"I'm going to the nearest bus stop, why?"
"Why?! Well because you always walk this way and you never get on the school
bus. How do you come to school?"
"I-I get in a ta-taxi or bus and they drop me off he-here and I walk to the
school the rest of the way."
"Oh...wanna drive to McD's? I have a car." Gabriel asked and Castiel agreed to
do so. Gabriel had become more of a brother figure and became a best friend
towards Castiel, this was a great moment for Castiel. Castiel ordered the
number 2 and asked for large fries with a medium coke, his favorite. "So...why
you no talk much?" Castiel was silent. They were
He was scared to mess up on speaking, like always. After being with Dean he
felt he could say anything, he wasn't afraid unless it was a question that made
him seriously nervous or just confusing. He replied quickly, "I-I stutter."
"Oh, is there a reason? I mean if there is you don't have to tell me, just know
I'm here." Gabriel took a sip of his juice, wondering why Castiel stuttered,
"it's getting late, I'm driving you home. Where is it you live?" Castiel told
Gabriel, when they reached his home they said their good byes. Castiel checked
the time, his phone nearly broken had the time: 6:50 pm. It was the evening and
it was already getting dark, cloudy, a thunderstorm was approaching.
"Great." It poured like hail, harsh. "I can't wait for winter." He ran inside
unlocking the rusty door knob. He tumbled down, he realized he was living
alone. Alone, the word floated in his empty mind. Nothing ever really went on
in there, only his colors and how he wished he could be set free out into the
world and not be judged. "The time will come, right?" He walked into the
bathroom and stared at himself. Huge dark circles , sad clear sea blue eyes,
long skinny nose, crooked smile, imperfect hairline.
"Everything about me is flawed." He spoke to himself, lonely and depressed in
the dim lighted room, "will I ever be the real me?" There was no real Castiel,
there was only just Castiel. Everything about him was flawed but he couldn't
see that was what made him perfect. " what am I?" He snarled at his own
reflection. "I'm gay! No one likes gays, there is something wrong with me! Why?
Why me?" He cried out angrily. "God...why me?" He looked up, kneeling onto the
cold hard ground, "w-why me?" He whispered to himself, grossly sobbing into the
palm of his hands. He cried, yelled, threw things into the ground. He stood up,
looked into the mirror, "you sad stupid boy. You're worthless, why not kill you
self." He repeated words people had said to him long ago, " you're nothing. Go
die!" He couldn't stop himself, "do it, ugly ass. Kill yourself, no one wants
you!" Words, hateful words that hurt him. Hurt him so much he almost did years
ago. He nearly did it last year, "why didn't you kill yourself when you had the
chance?!" So many hateful people cornered him, no way out. He sobbed and
sobbed.
"Why didn't I kill myself? Why..." He told himself, he opened the bathroom
mirror. He took out pills his grandmother took to relieve her back pain, he
took out bottle of vodka from the small fridge. There was a small iPod in his
grandmother's room, he turned it on. He played dream by imagine dragons His
favorite song to play when he felt depressed. "This is it." His voice high
pitched, he took out his phone and called Dean, he wanted to say his good byes.
Voicemail: please leaver your message for DEAN WINCHESTER AT THE BEEP-
beeeeeep. "...D-ean..." There was heavy breathing, "uh hey, I wanted to say hey
and uh I know we've only dated for about a week, so that's good you'll be able
to move on quickly I suppose. Um this is a note, I mean isn't that what people
do in this kind of situation? Heh. Well, just know that I care about you enough
to leave you...and I'll miss you very much even though we don't know each other
very well... I uh-Love you. I love you." He hung up. He took triple the amount
then you normally should, drank a huge dose of the strongest vodka in the
building and chugged it. "This it it." Immediately he started to have a heart
attack. He felt his heart collapse quickly and painfully he loved the feeling.
He loved it, which was the problem. He waited for this very moment, he never
had the guts to do so and even though he was close to doing so he would never
actually do so. This, this was his moment. The moment he would cherish for his
last seconds on earth, his last seconds of breath would be his very favorite. A
tear rolled down his left eye, then another on his right. A smile formed as his
last breath approached, "thank y-you." He said chocking on his very words. As
the song ended his life flashed away. A light formed around him, his happiness
forming as his sadness fades, as his life fades. This was it.
This was his moment to shine.
 
***** I'm sorry *****
IM SAD TO SAY THAT IM SORRY.
This fanfic is over and I suck at making it and should have never made it in
the first place. Sorry to those who liked this, and I hope to those who hated
this that you are happy.
Thank you to those who have kudos to this work, and thank you everyone for
everything. I'm sad to say that this fan fiction is over and I'm not writing
anymore of it.
This fan fiction had no plot, and I was unprepared and all sorts of crap.
Sorry. Lol
***** Other news *****
Chapter Notes
     I ended this fan fiction, read below.
I am currently working on a new fan fiction, it will have a full plot.
Everything will be checked multiple times before posting, spelling errors,
punctuation, grammar, etc. everything will be checked multiple times.
Hopefully you will like it.
I'm still focusing on the chapters and the plot, when I am finished I will name
the fan fiction and post each chapter once a week.
Why once a week?
So I can see if people like it or not.
It will take a while to work on but hopefully it will be worth your time and
mine as well.
Thank you for your support and love.
Heads up on more updates!
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!
